What is a Dossier?

We get many questions as we go through this adoption process, and right now the most commonly asked question is, “What is a dossier?”

In simple terms, the dossier is a collection of documents that we need to gather and send to China so that we can finally be in line to get a referral for a child. That doesn't sound too terrible, right? Wrong! I am a little funny in the fact that I really enjoyed the home study paperwork. However, the dossier is a completely different beast. We have paperwork that needs to be notarized, and then state sealed, other items that just need to be notarized, and yet other items to be collected and thrown in the pile. It would be far less daunting if we weren't born in Indiana & South Korea, married in Colorado, living in Ohio, and then Evan's letter of employment coming from Tennessee. We have so many different states that we need to get items from, send them back to get them authenticated, and then get them back home again! So far nothing has been lost by the post office, which is awesome!

We are learning many lessons in this process, the biggest (for me) being patience. Another lesson is that planning ahead for the dossier is a bad idea. Everything has to be dated and certified within 6 months of reaching China. I'm not sure why.  If my birth certificate is certified in 1980 and I was born in 1980, it seems like it's just as official and trustworthy as that same document certified in 2017!  So, back in September, I grabbed new birth certificates for each of us only to read the dossier packet and find out they are too old! Oops.

I also learned that you can actually find traveling notaries! Who knew!? We need papers notarized as our doctors sign them.  Evan's doctor has a notary on site, but mine does not. So, I “googled” it and found a person who was actually willing to come meet me at my doctor’s office for just $25. I should look into becoming a notary so I can help people when they have things pop up like this!

Something you would think would be easy is getting Evan's letter of employment, but in a big company it is much more difficult than you could ever imagine. Evan and his boss started the process in February, and by mid-march I tried to jump in and take over because it was taking longer than I would like. I learned yet another lesson. I really just need to sit back, be patient, and trust my amazing husband to take care of it. I can get too emotional and easily hurt and frustrated when I feel like someone is being unreasonable and ridiculous and Evan is such a great balance to that. What would I do without him?

When I first started reading the packet and realized all the crazy stuff we had to do, and everything that had to be done within a certain time frame or we'd have to start over, I got very stressed and might have even shed a few tears. After taking a deep breath, jumping in, and just taking it a step at a time, I realized it's not as bad as it seems. Yes, there is a LOT of red tape, so many hoops to jump through, but it is all worth it. I just keep thinking about why we are doing this. In order for us to be adopted into God's family, Christ died on the cross, shed his blood, and defeated death! I think we can handle a little stress in order to show a picture of the gospel and complete this journey of adoption.

Counting the Cost with Adoption

March 10^th, 2017 | Evan Dlugosz


Fear crept through my body the instant we signed the contract with the adoption agency.  The reluctance, caution, trepidation, and excitement swirled together and hit me like a tidal wave.  The risk of the unknown was way too much for my conservative nature.

Back in our dating days, Ashley and I knew that we were both passionate about adoption and wanted to care for a child who was abandoned.  When we signed the contract that passion became a reality.  The long and intimidating journey of adoption had come, and the more we dove into the process the more we realized how overwhelming everything was.  

The system has changed drastically compared to when my sister and I were adopted from South Korea over 30 years ago.  There is twice as much red tape, the waiting time is longer, the children are older, the finances have been tripled, and the mountains of paperwork are taller.  I knew most of this going into the process, but obviously didn’t know the full extent of it.

God has been teaching us so much through the adoption process, and we know that He will teach us even more when we bring our child home.  For those of you who want to adopt and feel that it's either too intimidating or there are too many barriers, there are.  Eating the elephant one bite at a time is the systematic approach to take, and ultimately leaning on God's timing, direction, and divine providence will get you through.  It feels like an eternity until we get to see our child.  We have already spent 8 months completing our application, referrals, the home study, immigration, and we're half-way through the dossier.  Once the dossier is finished we will finally get a referral for our child, and that could take another 6 months to a year.

In Luke 22, Jesus was in agony knowing how much it would cost to go to the cross.  His sweat was like great drops of blood falling to the ground, and knowing how difficult it would be, he still submitted to the Father's will, ultimately knowing the glorious outcome.  Galatians 4:4-5 says, "God sent forth His son...to redeem those under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons."  He pursued us knowing how great the challenge was before Him, how immense the cost was through the shedding of His blood, but ultimately knowing the glorious outcome.  He bought us with a price, and for those of us that have accepted Him as Savior for the forgiveness of sins are then adopted into the family of God.

Adoption is expensive and it's by no means convenient.  You're not going to hit a grand slam and easily slide into home plate.  Now I'm not saying throw caution to the wind financially or emotionally and go save a baby in a foreign land, but what I am saying is that adoption is an incredible picture of the Gospel, and that we should strive to foster a culture of adoption in our church, community, friends, and family.

The adoption process will be stressful, inconvenient, and financially challenging.  Christ certainly knew that our adoption was worth it, and His example should encourage us to pursue Gospel driven adoption for the Kingdom of Christ!

Cleveland Adventures

So, I am not really one to write a blog, but I thought I would give it a shot as we go through our adventure of adopting a child from China!  We are now about 7 months in and have finished our application, signed a contract, finished our home study and are working on our dossier!  We have also finished about 23 hours of our required 30 hours of training for this process.  We have met some amazing people through this journey and really learned a lot about our adoption as children of God.  We are so excited to show a picture of the gospel through our adoption!

Today we had to travel to Cleveland (an hour away) to get fingerprinted for Homeland Security.  We actually had been in CO for two weeks, got home on Tuesday and found a letter in the mail saying that our appointment to get fingerprinted was scheduled for Thursday at 11am.  So thankful we didn't get home two days later!  We're also thankful Evan's coworkers and boss were flexible and understanding and let him take the morning off so we could make the appointment.  The letter said if we did not get there at the appointed time, they would consider our request abandoned!

We are not really city people and forgot coins for meters, so we found a parking garage close by.  We parked, headed in for our appointments, then two hours later made it back to our car.  Evan found a note on the driver side window: DO NOT EVER PARK IN THIS SPOT AGAIN!  I PAY TO PARK HERE MONTHLY.  Oops.  If the person who left that note ever sees this blog, please forgive us!  We did not realize it was a reserved spot and we sincerely apologize!!  I know it would not be fun to pay for a specific spot and then have a random person take it from me. :(

If anyone would like to see a video about our journey, you can see that here: www.adoptalovestory.com/family/dlugosz