I will not Leave You or Forsake You

You could hear a pin drop.  Silence filled the air.  Strangers observed from a safe distance as we slowly sat across the table in the hotel.  We were in another unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people. All of this was unfamiliar to our son, but not unfamiliar to Ashley and me.

We had just gotten to Columbus for Micah’s doctors appointment.  All adopted kids go through this complicated evaluation process within a few weeks of getting back.  We decided to spend the night in a hotel because our trip was over 2 hours long and our appointment was early the next morning.  With family in the area we decided that it might be a good idea for Micah to meet some of his cousins.  We had originally planned to meet Ashely’s side of the family for lunch after the appointment on Friday the next day.  Today was Thursday and Ashely’s brother took us up on our offer to meet the night before to meet our son.

My son Micah was silent the entire time.  It was yet an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people and you just couldn't help thinking that Micah was in survival mode wondering if we were going to give him up again.  I whispered in his ear that I was his father, to not be afraid, and that it would be ok in whatever broken Mandarin I had written down from our last tour guide in China.  Ashley’s brother’s family left the hotel but it wasn’t anything that we weren’t expecting.

The next day at lunch things were different.  Micah came alive and was high-fiving people, smiling, and talking.  A new level of trust was building again.  It was like the base of a building settling into the foundation.

I could only watch my son as he navigated the weekend at grandma and grandpa’s house with hesitation and then bravery.  It started off with a slow walk around their house with that look of hesitation while slowly picking up toys and glancing back at us to make sure we were still watching him.  With moderate shyness he innocuously handed toys to his cousins to begin to get to know them.

I can only imagine what Joshua was thinking when he was commissioned to lead the people of Israel to the promised land in Deuteronomy 31, or Paul getting ready to head out on his missionary journey's throughout the books of Acts, or Jesus sitting in anguish on the Mount of Olives with great drops of blood falling to the ground as the Cross was set before him.

I admire the bravery in all of these mighty acts.  It puts things into perspective as I sometimes wallow in self-pity when the slightest hiccup in the road jostles the steering wheel out of my hands.

I sat watching my son that day knowing that everything was going to be ok even if he slipped and fell or had some sort of an accident.  This time something familiar broke through to my heart and mind as I've told Micah and will continue to tell him, "Be strong and courageous...I will not leave you or forsake you."(Deut 31:6,8)

The Identity of Adoption

"That's Mama, that's Baba, that's Micah!"  Like a lightbulb the brightness illuminates the entire car from the back of my old Camry.  It's like Christmas for him and us as parents.  He's strapped in his carseat and has his picture book between both hands and signals to us again.  "That's Mama, that's Baba(Father), and that's Micah!"

Hearing this phrase will never get old.  I can hear it replaying in my mind almost daily.  Micah's former name was Xiao Liang(Sheeyow Lee-in) which means "little light."  His new name is Micah which means "Who is like Yahweh."  Micah is continually learning about who his mom and dad are and responding to his new name.  There is an excitement and a smile every time he repeats it.  There's so much joy for us to see him familiarizing himself with his new environment and getting to know us as his parents.

Just like Micah who has a new identity, those of us who have trusted Christ as our Savior also have a new identity.  If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation(2 Cor. 5:17).  All of this is from God(v18).  The more we study God's word, the more the lightbulb goes off as we understand more about our former identity and our new identity.

Like Micah, we can point to God's Word and say that's Evan and Ashley and that's Abba Father.